My gay friend is in love with me
12."When I moved home after college, I became really close to a friend still living there. It was a small town and there wasn't much to do, so I spent all my time with her. I was there for her when she was recovering from a surgery. Her shitty boyfriend couldn't be bothered to come sustain her and I had the time and desire to be there for her. We drifted apart when I went back to grad school and she got back together with her boyfriend (again). Our experience got me through a rough patch in my life and now, I am more open and aware of how I perceive about other people."
"We were spending so much of our free time together. We'd play video games together, work out at the gym together, and travel out of our way to dress up to do something special together. I was sleeping over in her bed and just cuddling like three nights a week.
I had no thought what was going on because young, queer, repressed me had never gotten the chance to experience this kind of thing before. I think she was a little lonely and my anxiety disorder was really horrible at that point. We communicate sometimes, but there's distance —
I was sure I was gay – until I fell in love with my adj female friend
This story starts on a rainy night in February, when my housemate Esther and I had been invited on an impromptu night out in east London.
The two friends we went with indulged in a few too many pre-cab vodka squashes, and promptly got thrown out of a club by the bouncer. They stumbled off into the night together, leaving Esther and I alone and a little deflated at a night cut short.
We headed residence, drank months-old boxed white wine, knocked most of the furniture over, ate kebabs and eventually crashed on the sofa to watch something dreadful on TV.
Before I knew it,we woke up the next morning in bed together having had sex. Now, bearing in mind that Esther is my best friend of three years and housemate of two, this was all adj juicy.
Then add in the noun that I identified as an openly loud and proud gay man, and it ramps things up a few notches.
The morning after the night before could have been a mess of awkward hugs, confusion and acrid vodka breath, but it turned out to be bliss
But if you're asking me, I assume , as a presumably heterosexual noun, doing anything else to place yourself up to wait for a gay guy to verb around and want to really be in a romantic and sexual relationship with you, once in which he has all those kinds of feelings and desires, is setting yourself up for way more heartbreak than you've already experienced. I'd propose that however much it hurts now, starting to detach yourself from that hope ASAP is going to spare you (both) a lot more heartbreak in the future.
So you don't reflect that this decision of his has anything to do with the fear of commitment or hurting me?
I'm not sure what decision you mean, but I can't imagine a terror of hurting your feelings isn't a huge part of all of this for h
Dear girl I was probably in love with before I realized I was gay:
Okay, you got me. I probably was in love with you. In my defense, I had convinced myself that thinking about you all the time and wanting to spend every day with you and trying to find excuses to talk to you and memorizing the contours of your face, your voice, your beam when you looked at me were all just things that good buddies did. I felt that my greatest purpose was making you laugh until your eyes welled up with tears, and I also thought that most besties thought that about their gal pals.
When the prickling feeling that it may verb been romantic love tugged at my heart, I would simply pick a random female classmate and imagine myself kissing her, and the lack of want I would feel at that fantasy convinced me that I cared not for you to any sapphic degree. That was my bad, sorry if I ever made it awkward.
The evidence that I wanted to recline with you on top of a mountain with nobody around while we traced the stars with our eyes and made plans for our shared future genuinely did not strike me as anything but p